The Operation

Note: I actually started writing this post on the night of the 14th, but only just got around to checking it and posting it. Oops ahh well no harm done eh?

I’ve started writing this on the ward I’m staying in overnight. Hopefully it will be a quite fresh account of for a lot of people is the most scary part of getting a Cochlear Implant.

The day started with meeting my parents at the hospital at 7:00am (despite my mothers attempts to get me to stay the night at hers the night before, I wanted to sleep in my own bed!) we then went to Ambulatory care, which is obviously medical speak for “massive ward taking up a chunk of the ground floor of a massive building” I was on bed 68 or something and I don’t even think that’s halfway in the ward!

Then after a bit of waiting, the nurse called me in for pre op assessment, just stuff like sticking on my ID bracelet (which is really just a sticker that sticks to my hairy arms, that’s going to be fun to pull off tomorrow) asking questions (“Do you have a metal implant” not yet!). And giving me a pair of fetching tights to prevent DVT. Curiously no photos of me in said stockings exist, they all mysteriously were not taken (perhaps some threats were issued my memory is a bit hazy…).

A while after this the anaesthetist asking similar questions to the pre op assessment, things like any health problems, allergies that sort of thing. She then explained what would happen in the anaesthetic room, putting in the drip thing into your hand, making you breathe through a mask and well falling asleep.

Then the surgeon came around with a team of students, after handing him a notepad to write things down for me (asking the same questions and by this time I had worked out the order exactly so I started preempting his questions before he wrote them down).

At about 10:30 it was time, my little push bed came with me as I walked to the, well I’m not sure what it was theatre waiting bay? After more waiting another guy came out to ask me yet more questions! How deaf I was (very) what operation am I having (Cochlear Implant) and am I wearing cotton pants, well I had no idea so they needed to be checked, luckily they were not so got to keep my pants on!

Then got wheeled into the anaesthetic room, full of people, had a drip inserted into my hand, had to have these blow up what I can only describe as cricket shin guards but fully around the lower leg (That dam DVT thing again). They took out my hearing aids and glasses at the last moment, then I got the mask started breathing then, well woke up straight away in another room being told that its all done. Was still a little out of it at this point but distinctly remember shooting the guy telling me this a disbelieving look, I was then wheeled back into the ward quite soon after that, still a little out of it and just wanting to go back to sleep. The whole thing took 2-3 hours, I was “awake” (and I use the term loosely) some time after 1pm, I had no pain what so ever just a strange feeling that my ear was stuffed up, a big bandage on my head and the fact that my natural hearing what is left of it has not changed at all.

When I was more fully awake, I asked to stay overnight (it was a choice, at this point the dizziness started to kick in, and the thought of getting into a car was not an appealing one!) and was then moved into a ward room with 4 proper beds (the kind that have those electric controls to make them sit up, yes I played with it for about 5 minutes).

Other then that there is not much to tell, hospital food is well, hospital food, but I was fed an evening meal, something just before bed (basically drink and biscuits) a breakfast with cereal and a bread roll and a sandwich for lunch.

The next day was simply waiting to be discharged, getting an X-ray done (although that was a little bit undignified, basically “mush your face up against this X-ray plate on the wall please”. Then after more waiting got discharged.

And thats about it, currently at home recuperating!

Next big thing should be the start of the Switch on appointments which start on the 10th August.

Also changed the tagline at the top, I’m no longer “hopefully” getting a Cochlear Implant. I have one, I am a Cyborg!

Well back from my cochlear appointment and its official I’m in for the testing.

We talked about the implant, I asked some daft questions like will it leak in me, will it break in me, will I be able to wash my head or is it going to break if water gets on it. All of course were answered with no its going to be fine once the wound is healed up, its even flexible inside you so it will move with your head in the event of an impact or something.

Also the question about if it would need to be replaced (the internal part) was answered that its designed to be a simple as possible in the internal part, its just a connection all the processing and other stuff is done on the external part, which is changeable, also the company that the NHS use for the implants has a policy of making sure that their new external parts are eventually compatible with every implant they have ever made, most reassuring that as the technology moves on I will at least be compatible with it (assuming I can pay/get the funding for these upgrades but thats a bridge to cross when it happens).

They then showed me the actual implant, its tiny, and thin its barely thicker then a credit card. And the actual outer part itself a couple of points about it:

• It has rechargeable batteries! JOY no more trips to get special hearing aid only batteries!
• Apparently it will eventually be able to use Bluetooth with a “software update”
• Not 100% sure about this since the booklet they have given me shows two different models so not sure which one I will be actually getting but the bigger one of the two has an accessory port to basically plug things in like anything with a standard headphone socket, hopefully I will be given a choice but I’m not sure yet, we are talking about the NHS I am getting this for “free” at the taxpayers expense, they might not stretch to the “Delux” model.
• It has a full colour screen remote control (yes they showed this to me)
• Said remote lets me play about with the settings like bass, treble and volume.
• It has covers for the fashionable Itchy. Both the head coil and the processor I wear on the ear (like the aids I have now)
• It can apparently adjust itself to different situations automatically by itself that I can override with the remote

Assuming the testing goes well I can’t wait to get it in and start the slow process of learning to listen again.

Richard/Itchy

Right I’ve decided

I know what I’m going to do about the cochlear implant, I’m going to go for it, assuming they let me of course. That’s it decided, done and dusted, not changing my mind. I just hope that it works, that I will be able to have a conversation without all the hassle and aggravation, both mine and the poor soul who has to have a conversation with me.

I’m also going to journal the process, so far I’ve not been able to find any blog or account of the process from agreeing to be tested to actually having the implant installed. So for my sanity I will be documenting my own journey or whatever you bloody call it, “Richard’s quest to become a Cyborg” has a nice ring to it. Not sure if I want to keep this private or publish it in a noble act of helping others, if you are reading this on the internet I obviously decided to make it public.

So yeah I just decided to have my head cut open and a machine stuffed inside it.

Not something you do every day.